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The collaborative family law process is a relatively new way of dealing with family disputes. Each person appoints their own lawyer and all parties commit to scheduling 4-way meetings to work things out face to face. Your collaboratively-trained lawyer provides support and legal advice as you go. Collaborative lawyers sign an agreement with you that disqualifies them from representing you in court if the collaborative process breaks down. That means they are absolutely committed to helping you find the best solutions by agreement, rather than through conflict. Sometimes only a couple of meetings are needed, on other occasions four or five. These meetings follow agendas set by you and your former partner. Once an agreement is reached, your lawyers will put it into effect. Your collaborative lawyers can finalize your divorce in the end.

This is a topic I hold dear to me because of the positive effects it can have on families going through separation & divorce.

Collaborative Family Law is a structured process which offers families an alternative to court in resolving their family dispute.  It allows parties to focus on what is important to them and to their families in order to reach an acceptable solution.  Parties effectively reduce their conflict and get to a resolution much faster than in a litigated settlement.

At the start of the process both parties and their lawyers sign a Participation Agreement committing to establish an open …

Although the month of January is coming to a close very quickly, it still bears bringing to light the fact that January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month.  It was started by Rosalind Sedacca in theUSA who wanted to bring together divorce professionals who would focus one month of the year on providing local educational events, discussion groups, and other activities for divorcing parents and those contemplating divorce.  InLloydminster, we don’t have any such events, but this article is my way to participate in a small way in the movement.

I thought I would share Rosalind Sedacca’s list of the “10 Biggest …

You are in the right frame of mind. If you are thinking of leaving, and aren’t sure of your next steps, it doesn’t hurt to do some research.  I highly recommend that your first stop be to seek the advice of a divorce professional.  This may seem self-promoting, but there’s a reason for it.  In my practice, I provide initial consultations with no obligation to retain my services.  This consultation may be used as a way to figure out what you need to be thinking about when you actually decide to leave the relationship.  You can use this appointment to …

What do children in the midst of their parents’ high conflict divorce want for Christmas? Ask them… they’ll tell you they want freedom from conflict – a gift that will last a lifetime.  Wouldn’t that be a special gift for your children?

When parents talk about how they will share holidays and special occasions, many parents express that they simply want to “share holidays by mutual agreement”, leaving the exact allocation of time to a discussion closer to the actual holiday.  Let me tell ya… there’s a reason why I and many family lawyers/mediators discourage this level of generality.  It is …

If your adult child is going thru a divorce, it is very important that you support them in the way that they need you most.  The worst thing you could do is to add to the pain that your child is already going thru.  Of course, you wouldn’t do this intentionally, but sometimes in overly criticizing your child’s ex, you may contribute to more uncertainty and confusion for your child.

How can you help your child? Here are some of the many ways:

Firstly, ask them what they need from you.  Ask them how their relationship will be with their ex during …

Can “sharing” and “divorcing” go together in the same sentence? As you work out your parenting plan, and determine where the kids are going to live, have you come to impasse where you truly believe that you cannot come to an agreement on who will get the kids when and for how long? You may want to consider continuing to share your matrimonial home with your ex-spouse.

“How on earth…” you say? Well, did any of you follow the TLC reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8? When they first separated, they did this type of parenting plan.  Kids stay in …

A divorce mission statement is a statement that you create that defines how you want to define the story of your transition into being separated and your life after divorce.  It’s not about stating what you want for a settlement – i.e. financial outcomes or parenting arrangements.  It’s about how you want to look back at your divorce and what that looks like.

If you engage in either the Collaborative Process or in Family Mediation, customarily you will start out the first session by listing your goals or “interests” – what is important to you in achieving a resolution.  These are …

Ever thought about “how” you’re going to get divorced? Did you assume that you have to hire a lawyer and go to court to engage in a nasty, heated “battle of the exes”? News flash… you can choose to work together with your spouse and each of your lawyers to come up with a win-win solution to all of your post-separation issues.  It’s called Collaborative Divorce, and here are my Top 5 Reasons to Divorce Collaboratively: 

1. Privacy: Documents filed in Court are a matter of public record… forever.  If you go before a Judge, you will likely be in

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It is going to be difficult to tell your kids that their parents are divorcing. How you tell them, and how you help them deal with their emotions in the aftermath of breaking the news is very important to consider.

Here are some tips on breaking the news:

Show that you are unified – if you can keep the conflict at bay, sit down together with your kids to tell them about the news as a family. Your kids should know that you are both there for them, and will continue to both be involved as their parents.

Have …

First things first… CONGRATULATIONS on choosing a process that is going to put your children in the centre, instead of in the middle.

As you likely know, the Collaborative Process is based on the idea that all of your discussions about your separation and divorce will occur within the context of “4-way meetings”.  Here is your cheat sheet about the Process.

Who: Usually it’s only you, your spouse, and each lawyer.  If everyone consents, others may join the meetings such as professional advisors or family members.  The separating spouses are responsible for determining the outcomes, and the lawyers are responsible …