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Mediation is a way of resolving disputes and difficult issues between separating couples. Mediators can help with all the issues faced by separating couples, or you can choose to use mediation to resolve specific issues such as arrangements for your children. Mediators are trained to help people resolve disputes. A mediator will meet with you and your partner together and will identify those issues you can’t agree on and help you to try and reach agreement. Mediators are neutral and will not take sides. They are not advisors and will not give advice to either of you and will recommend that you obtain legal advice alongside the mediation process. Mediators can provide broadly based legal information to both of you within the mediation if this is appropriate. Once you have proposals you both find acceptable the mediator will prepare a summary of them together with a summary of the financial information which will be sent to each of you to discuss with your lawyers. After you have both received legal advice and if you are both still happy with the proposals, the lawyers will convert the summary into a legally binding document and carry out any necessary implementation.

Do you have a Court Order or a Separation Agreement which sets out your parenting plan?  If so, parenting coordination may be you! This is a new service which is being offered in Lloydminster.  It is for parents who already have their arrangements in writing, and may need assistance to implement their plan. 

The idea is that parents will sign on with a parenting coordinator (PC) for at least 2 years during which time they have full access to their PC anytime they need (almost – don’t think you’re getting a reply email at 2 a.m.!), on very short notice, for …

Valentine’s Day week is pretty awful for an article on divorce to be coming out!  I should just end the article right here… but I won’t.  I’ll try to keep it to a happy tone.

The first Wednesday in February (this year it was Feb 6th) is Family Mediation Day in Canada as designated by Family Mediation Canada.  It’s a day to celebrate family mediation and the benefits that it brings to families going through separation and divorce.  Since we didn’t have an article coming out on that day, you’ll have to accept this article as a Happy Belated Family Mediation …

Although the month of January is coming to a close very quickly, it still bears bringing to light the fact that January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month.  It was started by Rosalind Sedacca in theUSA who wanted to bring together divorce professionals who would focus one month of the year on providing local educational events, discussion groups, and other activities for divorcing parents and those contemplating divorce.  InLloydminster, we don’t have any such events, but this article is my way to participate in a small way in the movement.

I thought I would share Rosalind Sedacca’s list of the “10 Biggest …

You are in the right frame of mind. If you are thinking of leaving, and aren’t sure of your next steps, it doesn’t hurt to do some research.  I highly recommend that your first stop be to seek the advice of a divorce professional.  This may seem self-promoting, but there’s a reason for it.  In my practice, I provide initial consultations with no obligation to retain my services.  This consultation may be used as a way to figure out what you need to be thinking about when you actually decide to leave the relationship.  You can use this appointment to …

A divorce mission statement is a statement that you create that defines how you want to define the story of your transition into being separated and your life after divorce.  It’s not about stating what you want for a settlement – i.e. financial outcomes or parenting arrangements.  It’s about how you want to look back at your divorce and what that looks like.

If you engage in either the Collaborative Process or in Family Mediation, customarily you will start out the first session by listing your goals or “interests” – what is important to you in achieving a resolution.  These are …

February is supposed to be the month of celebrating love, not divorce.  However, more and more February is becoming one of the busiest months in the world of a divorce professional.  In response to that, I presume, Family Mediation Canada has designated the 1st Wednesday of February as Family Mediation Day.

I want to take this opportunity to set out some of the types of family conflict where a trained mediator can assist to resolve the issues for you: 

• Divorce / Separation – dividing property, creating a parenting plan (custody & child support, etc.), determination of spousal support
• School and parents / community
• School

…

It is going to be difficult to tell your kids that their parents are divorcing. How you tell them, and how you help them deal with their emotions in the aftermath of breaking the news is very important to consider.

Here are some tips on breaking the news:

Show that you are unified – if you can keep the conflict at bay, sit down together with your kids to tell them about the news as a family. Your kids should know that you are both there for them, and will continue to both be involved as their parents.

Have …

Before you get too far into your thinking of what solutions you want as far as your post-separation life, you should figure out how you want to get divorced.  There are 3 common approaches you can use.  At the very least, I recommend that you become informed about these process choices so you can be certain to choose the one that is right for you.

During their initial consultations, I advise clients about the distinction amongst these approaches:

Mediation – A neutral party helps both spouses to reach agreements on issues related to the divorce. A mediator does not represent …

First, I want to congratulate you for recognizing that you need to focus energy on helping your kids get through your separation and/or divorce. The other day I heard a statistic from a U.S. based study which astonished me: 45% of families going through a divorce only say a couple of remarks to their kids to explain the fact that mom and dad are getting a divorce. 15% of families say nothing at all. Only 5% of families actually sit down with their children to explain what is happening to their family unit.

So often, kids think that their parents divorce …

I thought I would use this opportunity to share with you a gem of a website that I found: www.ourfamilywizard.com. This site is a tool to assist separated or divorced families communicate over the Internet.

This can be called a form of “parallel parenting”, which is a way for parents to communicate without the need to interact face-to-face.

This site helps parents maintain and coordinate schedules, share health records, immunization histories, expense information, and other important family information. There is also an online storage tool to keep family documents safe and accessible to both parents.

How it works: Each parent is …